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| The Dangers of Expectations |
Expectations are fun little things, right? But there are dangers associated with them, as well. Let's explore the issues around setting high expectations, self-fulfilling expectations, and workplace expectations. Let's also consider some examples of unrealistic expectations. Read on to learn how to set expectations that are realistic, but still manageable.
1. Setting high expectations
As we strive to improve ourselves, we are often told to "go big or go home," or to "stretch ourselves." Although ambition can be healthy, it is important to find a balance between it and happiness. One of the best ways to do this is to observe what we are currently doing. This will give us an opportunity to adjust our expectations.
By identifying what drives us, we can determine if we're setting ourselves up to fail. When we have a high expectation for ourselves, we may feel pressure to achieve because we think that only success can make us happy. Unfortunately, this kind of high expectation can lead to a self-sabotaging mindset. In such cases, we may be more afraid of not meeting our goals than of succeeding. By identifying and letting go of these expectations, we can focus on becoming the best version of ourselves.
2. Unrealistic expectations
Unrealistic expectations can be harmful to relationships. They can push people away and make them feel bad. The best way to improve your relationship is to recognize that everyone has different expectations of themselves and others. For instance, you may think that you deserve the best for yourself, but what you want for your partner may not be important to them. It is important to understand that expectations are healthy to a certain degree, but they should be realistic.
Having high expectations means that you believe in yourself and your ability to meet them. It also sets a high bar for others. An English teacher, for instance, might expect their students to read difficult books and write strong responses. Similarly, a physician may forgo prescribing cholesterol medication with a high expectation for their patients to achieve it.
3. Self-fulfilling expectations
A self-fulfilling expectation is one that you believe will happen in your life. For example, you may believe that the Earth is flat. But if there is significant evidence to support the opposite, it isn't self-fulfilling. For an idea to be self-fulfilling, a large group of people must agree.
While self-fulfilling expectations are typically small, they can accumulate over time to make a huge difference. As a result, they can account for major social inequalities. One study suggests that IQ scores are affected by teachers' expectations. Students who have high expectations from teachers are more likely to earn higher IQ scores than those who do not.
4. Appreciating what you have
The practice of appreciating what you have and what you do can expand our sense of joy. But this doesn't mean we shouldn't acknowledge our disappointments and negative emotions. Our expectations can sometimes outpace the reality of our lives. When these expectations are excessive, we fail to appreciate what we do and have. This can lead us to compare ourselves to others and feel less than satisfied.
Learning to be more appreciative is an important step in overcoming the pressures of life. Appreciating what we have helps us to see the opportunities that we would otherwise have missed. It also helps us understand where we came from. This process can also help us develop optimism for the future.